


Plight of Pothos

by pastelfeathers



Series: pastel's dreamnoblade works [5]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:33:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29899773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelfeathers/pseuds/pastelfeathers
Summary: He thinks about the cold disappointment he’d felt that morning after, when Dream had gently made it clear that the drunk make out session had not been something that warranted discussion by avoiding the topic and lying when pressed. He thinks about the bitter self hatred he’d felt at the airport, when Dream lingered behind and his traitorous heart had leapt to his throat at the possibility that perhaps they will be able to talk it out, only to have it wither in his chest when Dream simply asked for his number.“I am not Icarus,” Techno says out loud to remind himself, “I can be happy with what I have.”Tribute to taljpg’s Out of Stone
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: pastel's dreamnoblade works [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2185617
Comments: 17
Kudos: 118





	Plight of Pothos

**Author's Note:**

  * For [taljpg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taljpg/gifts).



> I have been absolutely obsessed over the taljpg’s story, Out of Stone and wanted to write a small tribute to the amazing piece. Thankfully, I was granted permission so please see a short drabble of the matters from Techno’s perspective (my take of it of course so definitely not canon). 
> 
> Thank you for letting me write in your universe taljpg (and thank you so much for brightening my Fridays with your updates)! c:
> 
> Conscious that this is the first time I’ve written about Techno and Dream as real YouTubers (and not as a pig and a green blob) so leaving a quick reminder. This is fiction and do not represent either of them or their interactions/relationship in real life, and as such, should not be shared with them or be used in any way to make them uncomfortable.

For all of his bluster on stream, Techno is very conscious of his own self-worth.

That is to say, he’s a decent PvPer, he’s a good writer and he can be funny in a non-mean way (he can, he just chooses not to okay?). Other than that, he’s what, a college drop out who spent weeks mining fictional potatoes in order to get some views and some confetti? A normal looking dude in his early twenties who spends the bulk of his day thinking through fictional plots for an online block game and trying not to succumb to the perpetual anxiety about not being good enough for his fans?

Honestly, all things considered, he’s average at best.

And at worst, well, he’s a piss poor candidate for a boyfriend.

So why is he surprised that Dream might not want to discuss their kiss?

Why had he been so confident that maybe something could have come out of his drunken mistake?

Hell, why the fuck had he made a pass at Dream in the first place?

He should have known better.

Techno stops the unproductive train of thought and stares down at Floof when the poodle wanders into his room.

Floof tilts his head to the side and gives a soft bark.

“I fucked up,” he says.

Floof whines, jumping up onto the bed and settling down so his head is in Techno’s lap. “Heh? No, hey you, I have a reputation to maintain.” Despite that, Techno allows Floof to remain and absent-mindedly scratches behind the dog’s ears.

He thinks about the cold disappointment he’d felt that morning after, when Dream had gently made it clear that the drunk make out session had not been something that warranted discussion by avoiding the topic and lying when pressed. He thinks about the bitter self hatred he’d felt at the airport, when Dream lingered behind and his traitorous heart had leapt to his throat at the possibility that perhaps they will be able to talk it out, only to have it wither in his chest when Dream simply asked for his number. 

“I am not Icarus,” Techno says out loud to remind himself, “I can be happy with what I have.”

He can.

He isn’t sure he would have ever thought that Dream and he would be at a place where they would be able to casually contact one another.

He should be happy.

Techno flinches when, unable to help it, his brain recalls an image of Dream from that night. On his knees, wide hazel eyes made brighter in the pale moonlight, his artfully disheveled hair, soft pink lips open in surprise (or disgust, who knows).

Either way, Dream had made a pretty fucking picture.

Even now, thinking about it makes heat gather in the bottom of his stomach.

“God, I’m a fucking mess,” Techno mutters, raising a hand to rub at his face, ignoring the way Floof whined at the loss of contact.

He shouldn’t have pushed himself onto Dream, not when the other YouTuber was already being kind and helping him out in a tough situation. He definitely shouldn’t have been cold and aloof the rest of the trip because he was embarrassed and hurt, it’s not fair to have taken out his wounded pride on Dream.

But he can’t forget.

He can’t forget about the way Dream’s mouth tasted, the way Dream sounded or the way the man felt underneath him, pliant and yielding, as if maybe, somehow, Dream might have wanted him back.

Techno groans, “I’ve lost my goddamn mind.”

He must have lost it if he thinks Dream was in any way okay with that night.

Floof nudges at his hand and Techno relents, carefully starting to pet the dog again.

But for all of his introspection and panic, the worst part of the whole thing is, Techno still likes Dream.

God, he’s such a simp.

\---

Techno is not an idiot.

He likes to remind himself of that every once in a while, especially when he does something particularly stupid. This time, it was watching a recap clip of Dream on YouTube and hearing the other man’s reaction to being offhandedly rejected by George to be his valentine.

It hurts.

He knows, somewhat logically, that the whole Dreamnotfound thing is partly put on for show to fuel fan interest, but well, he also can’t stop wondering what the other part is. Is it just an amusing joke or is there a kernel of truth somewhere buried beneath what’s displayed for the fans? What’s more, the potential of this being a fake act also does not stop the leaden feeling in his stomach or the way his heart squeezes painfully in his chest at the thought that Dream was casually asking another person out when they haven’t even spoken since San Francisco.

He’s in a foul mood for the rest of the week, and has to actively remind himself that he has no right to be jealous. 

Dream and he aren’t anything. 

Just because Techno might have developed gross, squishy feelings for the other YouTuber, doesn’t mean that he gets to limit or weigh in on how Dream interacts with others, even less so when its interactions with close friends.

He is, therefore, stupidly glad when he has to stream with Ranboo and gets to cram the furious yearning in his chest into a tiny compartment and shove it into the darkest recess of his mind.

That is, until Dream texts him.

The conversation goes about as well as expected.

In that, Techno manages to make a complete idiot of himself by confessing that he still wants Dream but that he expects nothing from the other man. Which, why would his brain let him say that? Why not just have a fucking heart attack and have him kneel down on the floor instead?

He is not surprised when Dream is unable to properly process his messy, shitty confession and opted to just stay silent. But not being surprised, does not mean that it wasn’t still the most painful conversation he’s ever had to go through (including that time when he confessed on Tommy’s stream that he’s so awkward that he could only date people through email, and hadn’t that been a fun admission for him to try and gloss over).

So he offered Dream a way out, offered to feign that the incident didn’t happen, not because he wants to forget, but because he’s weak and selfish enough to try and hold onto Dream in whatever capacity the man feels comfortable in being involved in Techno’s life.

But despite all that, Techno hates that a small, hopeful part of him had wanted Dream to interrupt and reject his proposal to pretend nothing had happened. That a stupid, desperate part of him had still clung onto the hope that Dream might have also wanted to kiss Techno, that maybe he might be able to bow down at the altar of Anteros instead of always, always stuck with having Pothos as his guide through life.

He doesn’t know why he begged Dream to agree to the idea of moving past that night, to the point of saying the other YouTuber’s actual name, other than he can’t bear to lose Dream completely. 

And really, by the end of the conversation, it felt like the least that he could do was to offer Dream a reassurance that Techno’s unrequited feelings won’t get in the way of their tentative friendship anymore, even if the lie tasted bitter on his tongue.

For once, he wished that he could tackle this the same way he approaches other issues in his life, but no amount of research or practice can change the truth.

Dream and he will never be anything more than friends.

Now he just needs to slowly learn to accept it.

\---

Techno knows he’s whipped when he spends the good part of a day watching various YouTube videos on Dream’s channel, just to listen to the other’s voice. He’s trying his best to remain at the appropriate distance, mostly so he can give Dream assurance that he will be able to follow through with his promise that they can be friends without his feelings making it weird.

But he misses talking to Dream, wishes that he could call the other man on a daily basis just to chat about their day and so he can hear the wheezy laughter first hand.

It’s all a bit sad.

Techno rests his head on his hands for a moment, allowing the sound of Dream’s easy banter with George and Sapnap to play quietly through his earphones.

Techno knows that Dream is maintaining his end of the bargain, having even gone out of his way to express interest in Greek mythology again to help strike up a conversation between the two of them. 

Should he reach out this time?

There must be another safe topic that they can discuss.

Techno thinks through and discards several ideas before eventually settling on the plot for the upcoming lore streams. He already has a plan of what he would want to accomplish, helps that he’s an English major and has spent a good amount of time dissecting plot devices before he decided playing games on YouTube was a more viable career.

But Dream doesn’t need to know that.

He forces himself to dial before he can chicken out of it.

It’s fine.

It’s chill and breezy.

Just one bro calling another.

Totally normal.

Techno swallows hard and clears his throat when Dream picks up.

Nope, not normal, normal bros do not get sweaty hands from hearing their bro’s morning, sleep rough voice.

Too late to abort.

Techno can do this.

He pauses when Dream mentions that he’s in the middle of the shower and has, what he can only assume, is a mini stroke. He does not smell burning toast, but all the other fun symptoms are there.

_Sudden numbness or weakness in the body?_

Yes, Techno is fairly sure he can’t feel his legs anymore, and sits down heavily in his chair to avoid them giving out on him.

_Sudden confusion, trouble speaking, or difficulty understanding speech?_

Yes, Techno has no idea what Dream said beyond ‘shower’.

_Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes?_

Yes, the screen in front of him is suddenly out of focus, replaced instead by a very vivid image of a naked Dream, in the shower, slick skin on display everywhere, trails of water dripping down lower and lower-

Techno mentally slaps himself and forces himself to talk.

Half way through the call, Techno realizes that he honestly has no fucking idea what he’s saying, seriously, he sincerely hopes that the sounds coming out of his mouth are still words because ninety-five percent of his mental capacity is still focussed on the idea of Dream being wet and nude on the other side of the phone.

Still, if he wasn’t making sense, at least Dream seems be able to make out what he’s saying long enough to maintain the conversation. 

Only, then Dream has to go and say ‘yeah’ in a somewhat breathy voice and Techno can feel his free hand dig into his desk in an attempt to control himself. He manages to stop himself from doing something both inappropriate and unforgivable but does not manage to shut his own mouth quick enough to not say the stupid shit about being possessive.

As if he needed to give Dream more reason to want to avoid him.

Except-

Dream doesn’t sound irritated? In fact, he just agreed with Techno?

Which.

Okay, Techno moves his free hand from the table to his thigh and digs his fingers deep into his jeans, hoping the pain would ground him in reality.

He is having a nice, friendly discussion with his astonishingly attractive, stupidly snarky and impressively intelligent friend. That is to say, he should not be imagining what Dream looks like in the shower still, or what would cause the other to act on some of that possessiveness he just confessed to.

Techno holds in a groan and mentally shakes himself. He might be more pent up than he thought, because just listening to Dream talk is beginning to be a hardship.

Ha.

Hard.

He blurts out something about climax because he has a one track mind now and no amount of pleading from his rational side is going to derail this.

Techno freezes when he hears Dream’s breathing pick up, then gasp.

Could-?

For the briefest of seconds, he allows himself to hope again, to wonder what it would be like if perhaps that sound was what he imagined it to be and maybe-

But it’s not.

Techno curses himself for being stupid, feeling his face turn hot at the idea that he was so caught up in his own delusions that he mistook Dream’s worried gasp for something much more scandalous. Unable to continue the farce and waste more of Dream’s time, Techno gets out some form of excuse and hangs up.

Techno allows himself to simply sit there for a moment, before he groans and looks down at the problem tenting his jeans.

He’s a terrible person.

**Author's Note:**

> My brief references to Greek mythology:
> 
> Icarus: I think this one might not require explanation but just in case you might want to refresh your memory:  
> https://www.greekmythology.com/Myths/Mortals/Icarus/icarus.html
> 
> Anteros: god of requited love (one of the Erotes)  
> https://www.theoi.com/Ouranios/ErosAnteros.html
> 
> Pothos: god of sexual longing, yearning and desire (one of the Erotes)  
> https://www.theoi.com/Ouranios/ErosPothos.html


End file.
